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Must Have Tech For A Ballin' Bachelor Pad From CES 2017
Posted by Josh Theintern on Jan 18th 2017
As a man with exotic taste and impeccable style, I’ve been lovingly known to my friends as “Josh Flyntern”. While the good looks and charisma can’t be bought, one thing can, the bachelor pad. With a few sweet gadgets, and some modern decor, you can make your pad the place to hangout for fellas and ladies alike.
Luckily, I’m here to help you step your game up. Here are 4 tech innovations from CES 2017 that can turn your boring apartment into a Theintern approved entertainment space.
1. 3D R-Cade - The Digital Foosball Table
Foosball, the classic game that attempts to make soccer actually enjoyable, just got 1000x better. Some French company made a table that tracks the ball, keeps score, and adds stimulating effects to your foos. Keep your friends entertained for hours instead of minutes, with this combo platter of foosball and video game effects. Once you play, you’ll be hooked on the animations and explosions, normal foosball just can’t hold up. Throw out that particle board POS your parents gave you 8 years ago and go digital, with the 3D R-Cade.
It turns out they aren’t good at marketing to an American audience, because I couldn't find a price. But even if it costs a mortgage payment, I’m in like Flynn. And if you play me, no spinning, don’t be a foos fool.
2. My Oeno - Wine Style Sensor
Have you wandered the endless aisles of Total Wine trying to pretend you know what the hell you are looking for? That will be a thing of the past with My Oeno. Just stick it in the glass of your favorite wine and voilà. It will automatically characterize the style of the wine and memorize your preferences. That way, similar style wines can be recommended for date night, or to pair with the dope gyros you are spinning up.
Use it to learn what kind of wine your lady friend likes, so the next time she stops over for some Netflix and chill, you can impress her with your suddenly dazzling wine collection curated for her taste buds. Just don’t let her see you putting the Oeno in her glass, she might think you are slipping something questionable into her drink. Don’t be a creep, dude.
Have a more sophisticated palate? You can also use My Oeno to find your favorite flavor of Boone's Farm at a convenient retail location, because nothing says class like a bottle of the Boone's.
One thing I would change about this product is the name. I think they made a mistake calling it My Oeno, because that means nothing. A name like the “Sommelier Stick” would actually convey what the device does, but what do I know. I’m just a young, handsome, tech marketing expert.
3. Nanoleaf Aurora - Modular Smart Lighting
Traditional art (or cheap IKEA prints) tend to adorn most bachelor pad walls. Half the time I can’t even tell what the picture is supposed to be, talk about being bored to tears. And the worst part, it can’t even change color or be voice controlled. C’mon man, it’s 2017.
Modernize your art game with the Nanoleaf Aurora. A modular smart lighting solution that can turn your dumpy studio apartment from drab to fab in mere minutes. It provides all the benefits of LED lights, namely a huge color spectrum and fun patterns, with the freedom to create your own design.
Music visualizations make it perfect to get your party poppin’, and light patterns can help enhance the mood of your significant other, or angry cat. Let’s see your Andy Warhol do that.
Forget about expensive paintings that only can collect dust. Get a modern look and a sweet piece on your wall. The modular design means you can buy expansion packs and create an even more intricate design. I have a few dozen of these panels now, and they have proven to provide awesome light, and are a bonafide conversation starter.
4. Quantac - Intelligent Drinking Wearable
quantac.co
Ever wonder why people literally smell like alcohol when they’ve had a few too many? When you drink, some of the alcohol in your bloodstream diffuses through your skin, leading to the odor. The Quantac has turned this diffused alcohol into a simple way to quantify your drinking and sobriety (or lack there of).
It can estimate how many calories you drink, quantify how much booze you’ve imbibed in, and most importantly, notify you when you reach sobriety, and can drive without risking everyone's lives. This all comes in a sleek wearable, and you won’t look like an idiot on the side of the road blowing into a straw for the police.
Whether you’re using it to keep score on New Years Eve, or know if it’s safe to drive home, this is one smart gadget that has a place at any bachelor pad. Use it at home to track your slightly concerning drinking habit, or strap it on when you head out for the night.
Side note, Quantac also had one of the most fun social media presences at CES this year. Their CTO, Jack, was day-drinking at the booth to demonstrate the alcohol tracking technology. You could follow him after show hours with #howdrunkisjack. Major daps to Quantac for that idea. If Quantac needs someone to test the band while drinking Baileys Irish Cream, I’m your man.
I hope this list helped you realize the need for expensive gadgets to make your bachelor pad more legit. Because if you can't buy a fun personality, you might as well have a fun place to hangout. Thoughts? Tweet me @theintern_josh.